sarah masen
verbal abuse
by poetica*diva on Sun Jun 10 11:58:59 +0000 2001 in The Arsenal
does anyone have any information on verbally abusive relationships?
coming from a very dysfunctional home, where my father was both verbally/physically abusive and 3 years ago was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ADD….
now, having finally left a situation with a guy i was seeing who was the same way as my father in too many ways …(sarah masen, if you are reading this..i finally understand what you mean by your advice:
"you may be a better friend to him by
leaving situations that make clear,
respectful conversation difficult,
manipulative, or impossible.")
day by day this was proven to me more as my intentions, words, and reality were either defined, distorted, or told were ‘wrong.’
i was eventually told that i am a very difficult person to love and enjoy and tolerate (no, i am not exxagerating) and a host of other unprintable things. that i enjoy drama, conflict, and pain. more and more i got tired of it, though i continued to take it. thinking that if i was kind enough, loving enough, good enough, eventually things would smooth over. this eventually led to depression and other things.. (i have lots of problems myself).so i questioned him to the effect of, if i am so difficult to love, enjoy, tolerate, etc etc and all you seem to see in me is bad or wrong, why are you even still with me??
why was i even still with him?
at any rate, he refused to answer that question. yes, refused, he would do that alot, just refuse to answer questions that i posed to him because my questions were ‘rude’, ‘insulting,’ and ‘hurtful’ to him. this, on the grounds that i would ask him questions to clarify statements he’d make…accusations, etc.
well im not quite sure i went into all that. maybe it’ll help someone who is/has been in a similar situation. i dont know.
i understand this is not a very talked about subject, and most people have a limited understanding of it. but if anyone has anything — reading material, a similar story, anything, id be very grateful.
thanks & blessings,
poetica*diva
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